Open Letter Response from Alex Kapranos (Franz Ferdinand )
“You seem to be some sort of A&R guy, right? Looking for opportunities for the bands you work with? Well I hope you get to a stage where you can offer your artists a similar kind of New-Media-tie-in-exposure-viral-exposure or whatever you want to call it. I hope you can do it soon. I also hope you give them the option to turn it down if they do not want to be involved in it. There: that’s all it is. Choice. We didn’t choose to be part of this thing.
Re: “If you mind the spot so much, a spot by the way that is only happening because you allowed both your label AND publisher the rights to enter into such a placement without your prior approval then perhaps YOU are to blame.” “A spot by the way that is only happening because you allowed both your label AND publisher the rights to enter into such a placement without your prior approval then perhaps YOU are to blame.” If you do have some A&R experience I’d have thought you’d be aware that since the ‘60s it has been rare for a band to sign a deal like that. We certainly didn’t. The label have to ask our approval before placing our music anywhere. They didn’t.
I’m not naïve: I know that the era of selling records is over and if musicians want to feed themselves and pay the rent they have to look to other sources of income. That doesn’t mean you surrender all choice as an artist. Musicians should choose their artwork, videos, producers, stage set etc because they are all elements of their identity. Likewise, it’s their decision when it comes to the medium through which people discover them, specifically if it is as part of some kind of corporate promotion as association with that product is unavoidable. I am sure you want to present as many channels for fans to discover your artists as you can, but it is still for them to choose whether they want to take you up on your offer. Don’t withhold that choice from them for, if you do, you will be shafting them and they will not thank you for it.
I never intended this thing to be a big a deal. I found out about the McD promotion from a fan on Twitter asking “Why have you allowed your music to be used here?” The answer was we didn’t. As I was on Twitter when I found out, my pissed-off-ness ended up there immediately. I know that the guy who put the thing together probably isn’t a bad guy, just doing his thing at a label etc and in retrospect it probably would have been better to phone him up and let him know what I thought personally, rather than letting him find out via twats like you on the internet.
Now, as for the personal insults:
1. “indie-shmindie attitude” ain’t got nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with indoe or major status. I’m sure that if Jay Z had one of his tunes used in an advert without his permission he’d be pissed off. As would Animal Collective or Lady GaGa. Their labels will always ask them first. We don’t claim to be a band like The Ex or Fugazi – we’re not DIY. I tried DIY and found I couldn’t Do It Myself. Like most musicians I know, I have no business acumen at all. That’s why we turn to creeps like you: we make the music, you guys sell it and that’s why we love each other so much.
2. “Why don’t you cleanse the FF brand and donate all of the revenue associated with the spot (PRO included) to the Haitian relief effort?” Well, we didn’t make any money from it that I know of. I don’t know if Sony did, but we certainly didn’t, but that’s not the point. You think I should make a charity donation to assuage your perverse sense of moral outrage? I’ll make my charity donations for my own reasons, from my own wallet and you will not know what they are, because it’s none of your fucking business.
3. “We made our money, now we have to look cool for our fans” oh yawn yawn yawn. If you want to adopt the professional-blog-cynic-persona you’d do well to find an angle that’s a little more original. No, (how boring) I wasn’t trying to be cool. I stopped trying or claiming to be cool when I realised how uncool trying or claiming to be cool is… some time in my early twenties. I was just shooting my mouth off without thinking – a very uncool thing to do.
4. “You are ungrateful and two-faced”. Wow, two insults here. OK, I’m not ungrateful. I am very very very grateful for all of the work that is done by everyone behind the scenes that a lot of fans are unaware of – from the guys who are in a venue at 6am to set up a PA to Laurence Bell who paid for us to go into a studio in 2003 and record this music that meant everything to us, but noone else was really that keen to take a chance on. Nice one, Laurence. “Two-faced”, however… I’m trying, but I’m not really following you on that one.
5. “self-indulgent, guitar-noodling band” Phew… You should actually have a listen to our music: the first time you do, it’ll quickly be apparent that none of us have the technical ability for “self-indulgent guitar-noodling.” We’re all pretty cack-handed and happy to stay that way.
6. “Your band is no more special than the thousands of other young bands trying to survive… your belief that you are is disrespectful to all of the fans that helped get you to where you are in the first place” Crikey, you really have a chip on your shoulder don’t you? Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t believe we’re “more special” than any other band, whether they are more, less or equally as successful as we are.
How about some insults of my own in return? I could call you a pathetic bile-ridden resentful poisonous ignorant yellow-livered inarticulate morally-suspect avaricious failed-corporate-wannabe… but I won’t, my friend. I’m sure you were just caught up in the excitement of the moment and let your fingers ride your keyboard onto the internet before your brain caught up with them. I know, because that’s what I did. Good luck with your artists and (tempting as it may be) please don’t be an arsehole with them. Oh, aye, and if your artists are reading this: watch out for this fella – he seems like his heart could be in the right place, but he’ll happily serve your tunes up with a Happy Meal without asking you first.
AK xx
*************
Dear Alex,
Wow. I have never been more pleasantly surprised to read such a cogent and coherent argument in support and clarification of one’s position AND…all without coming off like a total asshole rock ‘n roll star!
I’m so moved that I’ll take it a step further… Let’s be friends. No, no… I mean it. No sarcasm, and no white-flag waving, but first things first, let’s parry and joust just a bit more:
“If you do have some A&R experience I’d have thought you’d be aware that since the ‘60s it has been rare for a band to sign a deal like that. We certainly didn’t. The label have to ask our approval before placing our music anywhere. They didn’t.”
Hmm… I find it highly unlikely that NOBODY on your team had any knowledge of this ahead of time (including your manager, attorney, publisher or A&R rep at either label). If true, however unlikely that is, than it sounds like somebody somewhere’s got some ‘Splainin to do… and might be looking for a new job soon. Off with their heads!!!
“Well, we didn’t make any money from it that I know of. I don’t know if Sony did, but we certainly didn’t, but that’s not the point. You think I should make a charity donation to assuage your perverse sense of moral outrage? I’ll make my charity donations for my own reasons, from my own wallet and you will not know what they are, because it’s none of your fucking business.”
You didn’t make any money from having your music used in a commercial for one of the biggest fucking brands in the entire fucking world??! (Sorry just wanted to make sure to one-up your use of the word “fucking” in this subsection). I find it a bit hard to believe that you honestly believe that there will be no money associated with this spot. Based on the intelligent way you composed your thoughts for this response I don’t think anyone’s going to buy such an ignorant answer. And no, I don’t think you should make a donation to assuage me, I think you should do it if you truly believe that your music was used for a purpose that you were not aware and/or supportive of, and if that money could help those in dire need. C’mon why not, it’s basically “free” money you wouldn’t have received since you wouldn’t have approved the spot, right? Oh, and trust me, the money IS out there somewhere. Let me know if you need help looking for it, I’ve got a metal detector in the attic.
“We made our money, now we have to look cool for our fans” oh yawn yawn yawn. If you want to adopt the professional-blog-cynic-persona you’d do well to find an angle that’s a little more original. No, (how boring) I wasn’t trying to be cool. I stopped trying or claiming to be cool when I realised how uncool trying or claiming to be cool is… some time in my early twenties. I was just shooting my mouth off without thinking – a very uncool thing to do.”
No I’ll let Perez keep the title of “professional-blog-cynic” cause he’s far better at it and much more entertaining than me… Maybe I’m not original, or maybe it’s just that some things never change?
“You are ungrateful and two-faced”. Wow, two insults here. OK, I’m not ungrateful. I am very very very grateful for all of the work that is done by everyone behind the scenes that a lot of fans are unaware of – from the guys who are in a venue at 6am to set up a PA to Laurence Bell who paid for us to go into a studio in 2003 and record this music that meant everything to us, but noone else was really that keen to take a chance on. Nice one, Laurence. “Two-faced”, however… I’m trying, but I’m not really following you on that one.”
Laurence was a good man, as are you for pointing him out. Aww, let’s not fight over semantics here, I’m pretty sure you and everyone else reading this knew THIS was the incendiary paragraph to get your blood boiling enough to write a response! Personal insult(s) retracted.
“self-indulgent, guitar-noodling band” Phew… You should actually have a listen to our music: the first time you do, it’ll quickly be apparent that none of us have the technical ability for “self-indulgent guitar-noodling.” We’re all pretty cack-handed and happy to stay that way.”
Tomato, Tuh-Mah-Toe. Noodling is noodling my friend, and you guys could make pasta. And… I actually rather like your music, which is why I got so pissed off about your comments in the first place!
“Your band is no more special than the thousands of other young bands trying to survive… your belief that you are is disrespectful to all of the fans that helped get you to where you are in the first place” Crikey, you really have a chip on your shoulder don’t you? Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t believe we’re “more special” than any other band, whether they are more, less or equally as successful as we are.”
I have no axe to grind here, no chip on my shoulder for or against the music industry nor secret loathing of FF for that matter. I have had the good fortune over the past 15 years to sit in a variety of seats that gives me a unique perspective and, fortunately, the ability to no longer worry about industry politics when I want to speak my mind. My inability to keep quiet when I believe something to be right (or in this case, wrong) has had mixed results. In some cases, it’s meant Artists that I worked with got a second or third shot when most around me had long since given up on their record, much like someone probably did for you guys once. It also resulted in me getting fired from a very cushy A&R job, something that turned out to be the greatest thing that ever happened for my career.
“How about some insults of my own in return? I could call you a pathetic bile-ridden resentful poisonous ignorant yellow-livered inarticulate morally-suspect avaricious failed-corporate-wannabe… but I won’t, my friend. I’m sure you were just caught up in the excitement of the moment and let your fingers ride your keyboard onto the internet before your brain caught up with them. I know, because that’s what I did. Good luck with your artists and (tempting as it may be) please don’t be an arsehole with them. Oh, aye, and if your artists are reading this: watch out for this fella – he seems like his heart could be in the right place, but he’ll happily serve your tunes up with a Happy Meal without asking you first.”
Point (again) taken. Insults retracted. I’ve been an independent artist, Record Producer with a Top 40-charting single, A&R Executive and now CEO of a small music company all by the ripe old age of 32. Am I a trouble maker for the sake of starting trouble? Nah, but I am also not good at keeping tight-lipped when a band I know and like musically goes on a rant about how terrible it is that they’ve just become so, well, popular. As far as the Happy Meals, I’d gladly let McD’s switch out those goddamn plastic ponies for some high-quality emerging artist music for the next generation to appreciate and support.
****
In closing, Franz Ferdinand just might be what all independent musicians strive to be… Successful and (apparently) not quite the jerks that a tweet or two would indicate. Despite the fact that there are a couple of things I don’t think you’re quite convincing enough about, I will let the reader make their own assumptions and, hopefully, help set the record straight on why you are (or were) upset about what history will call “FF SAYS F-U TO MCD’s”!
Best,
Scott
P.s. I don’t have a Rose Garden, but if you ever want to stop around for a beer (that’s the way we Americans like to show the world our ability to show compassion despite our differences) please do. I have Heineken on tap in my office, which is nice.


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